Day 13 - Revisiting Expo

This time round Mr Loh asked me to accompany him, his mum and brother to Expo for the Electronic Fair.

We had dinner at Changi City Point.

Pardon the distracting picture with Mr Loh at the background trying to remove wood flakes from his chopsticks.

The IT fair was very crowded (before we left we see Bangala ready to sleep outside Expo just to queue for the next morning's cheap deal - washing machine @ $99??, it is really cheap if you are able to win the Bangalas outside Expo as they have limited sets) 

 I went to a flea market at the neighbouring exhibition hall and bought a colourful printed top that will most probably make my day happier while wearing it to work.

Here's the close up look of the prints...it's really cute...I think 

  

It has the shapes on the poker cards perfect for a gambler with the poker face...lol

My Friday didn't end exactly on a happy note though, I was going to look for present for my brother's birthday, buy a camera and wanted to do a cheap manicure at the Flea market. But was "chase out" halfway as they said they are done. And they went to eat Burger King outside (I could have done all these stuff I planned to do). Was not in the mood to stay over at Mr Loh's house, I told him and he didn't try to persuade me and just pointed towards the MRT direction. Fine! I just walk towards MRT without even bother to look back. Plus he just commented that a girl has big boobs but thin (not like I have boobs any smaller than hers) Well, I told him if you like you should go China, cause that women was a Ah Tiong...*Furious* If you are not contented and unhappy with the almost perfect girlfriend you have then please fuck off. If you don't like who I am, please leave. If you can't love me the way I am, then leave me alone. I am having second thoughts of being Mrs Loh in future. I have always been very accommodating towards you -

•  How many girls can tolerate not going out together, but stay at your house just to watch you play hours of WOW (World of Warcraft) , HON (Heroes of Newerth) and Diablo 3.
• And still be so foolish to queue up for hours to buy you games
• Need to think thrice before buying a $6.90 earrings but bought $129 Pedro shoes for you without hesitating
• Travel 1 h 30 mins after work from Changi to Boon Lay to just see you for 2 hours 
• And one of my greatest regrets was caused partially because of your selfishness

I am independent. self-reliant. easily contented. low maintenance. compromising. After 6 years and giving and giving, I am getting tired. Slowly, I realised why I have treated all of my boyfriends overly good that resulted to self degrading, losing my pride and ego and having them to treat me like crap, taking advantages of me and take me for granted even cheat on me. This must be the inferior complex of the larger size girl not all of them I would say but some do. Although I might still think that I am very good to him, but deep down I just feel that I kinda of in-debt to him, he could have chosen someone smaller, prettier and normal. And think that I would not probably be able to find someone who will love me and that he chose to be with me despite my "disabilities" where he had many other choices out there. I wondered sometimes if I choose to move on, would I end up in future, closing one eye to my husband's affair secretly hoping for his return or get beaten up badly and still end up with the guy who demonstrate violence acts on me or end up having to be the sole breadwinner and raise the family alone while my husband does nothing productive. 

My future is full of uncertainties, risks and crucial choices to made. How can I make a positive change in my life, I just want to be a normal girl, being able to feel loved the way I want to and not have the fear every now and then to lose the precious person to you. I hope all that I am thinking now are all my crazy thoughts and that Mr Loh you are the right one that I have always been waiting for...Can you please act like one?